capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He better not be in your backpack
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
