her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
