You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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