I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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