GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My balls are so social today.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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