So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
