After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
