do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
