saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Holy shit dude........stairs
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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