dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
