She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
