And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
