Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
