sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
