That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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