grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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