that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
