You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
