Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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