WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize