I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
