I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
