the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
