I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
