Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I need to sanitize my soul.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
