nut hugger
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize