I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I deserve this hangover.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
