butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
