It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
