Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
