Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize