where am i from again
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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