Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
