Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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