In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
