even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
