tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Randomize
