i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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