all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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