no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
