is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
