A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
