I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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