I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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