white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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