i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
