how can u be prego again
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
