you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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