Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
