I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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