i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You made out with two different species that night
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
