Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
