OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
