What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
