I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
