i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize