I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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