and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
